<transcy>How do I get my child to sleep?</transcy>


Sleep. Before becoming a parent, it only affects yourself, and of course many suffer (even non-parents) from many different sleep problems – but the discussions around those never quite last.
The second you become a parent sleep has a whole new meaning. It provokes. To say “my child sleeps well” about your newborn baby can be an efficient way to create enemies. Or at least get skeptical looks. Because it couldn’t possibly be that someone else has a secret recipe of sleep that I’ve missed? (It must be a coincidence!)
There are naturally a million things to say about *what to do,* not least in other countries, in other cultures. There are also a million different kids. In other words, it is in no way odd that the most holy of sleep looks different across families.
“But maybe we are doing something wrong.” As with everything else around parenting, we often get stuck with the idea that there is *one* solution, a universal truth–something applicable to everything and everyone. If only you do this, you’ve accomplished the assignment. All the while we know (as we have all experienced it) that is never as difficult to sleep as when we feel we must.
But sleep is not a task to succeed at; there is no how to do it. However, there is a family-based approach to it that works for them – but not at all for another. As with everything else, we only know a fraction of how life looks for your neighbor, still we are quick to judge based on having all the answers. Sometimes you do things in a specific manner because you must – the life you live works that way. Sometimes you have the opportunity to float along without worrying about simple things like the clock.
What if we could meet there, listen, and remove our never-ending search for right and wrong. Talk and be allowed to wonder (and maybe learn) without being in opposition.
To make parenting a competition will, in the end, make us all losers.

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